Dr. Kelli Palfy is a registered psychologist, retired RCMP officer and author of Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse. She first became familiar with males as victims of sexual abuse when she worked with the Child Exploitation Unit of the RCMP in early 2000s. She has since made it her goal to become an advocate for boys, young men and adult men who are too ashamed to speak up about the abuse they’ve experienced. Watch the video to be introduced to this difficult topic, then check out the Scripture verse, discussion questions and additional resources below. Note: The following video may be triggering for some. Please do not watch in the presence of children. 

If you’ve never learned about this topic before, or if you’ve never taken the time to consider the prevalence of sexual abuse against boys and young men, it can be challenging to watch this series and educate yourself. In this video, Dr. Kelli Palfy explains why we, as humans, tend to ignore our gut instincts, and how we can teach ourselves to go against our natural inclination and protect those at risk. Note: The following video may be triggering for some. Please do not watch in the presence of children. 

When many people think about sexual predators, they may think of people online or strangers in vans, but 94 per cent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child knows, trusts, and maybe even loves. In this video, you will learn how predators “groom” their victims. Grooming is a term used to describe the well-orchestrated sequence of actions that, though not necessarily illegal or harmful in and of themselves, are done with the intent to deceive and abuse. Without awareness, grooming goes undetected. Note: The following video may be triggering for some. Please do not watch in the presence of children. 

In this video, Dr. Kelli Palfy shares the story of Aaron. While his name has been changed, the details are true. Aaron came from a good Christian home and was an all-around good kid. When he was 15, he was groomed by a coach at a basketball camp and ultimately became a victim of sexual abuse. This is a difficult story to hear, but it is crucial to bring evils like this into the light to ensure others don’t suffer in shame and silence, like Aaron did. Note: The following video may be triggering for some. Please do not watch in the presence of children. 

Now that you’re aware of the grooming process, you also need to learn about potential warning signs that someone you know be a victim of sexual abuse. Aaron isolated himself from his mother and friends, became depressed, broke up with his girlfriend and quit basketball. Some of these behaviours can be written off as normal teenager behaviour, but cumulatively, they speak volumes. Note: The following video may be triggering for some. Please do not watch in the presence of children. 

If you are a victim of sexual abuse, or you know someone who is, there is hope available to you. God hates sin, and he hates when any of his children are abused. We need to have a deep, theologically sound understanding of suffering and evil, as well as justice and biblical forgiveness, to ensure our perspective of God’s goodness is not distorted. Note: The following video may be triggering for some. Please do not watch in the presence of children.