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Dr. Palfy shares her insights on male abuse, sexual abuse, PTSD and more.

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Dr. Kelli Palfy 535

Understanding Male Arousal

Understanding Male Genital Arousal:  

By Dr. Kelli Palfy. Author of Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse. https://www.amazon.com/author/drkellipalfy

As psychologist who researched why boys and men often fail to disclose sexual abuse, I learned that confusion often promotes silence among male victims of sexual abuse. Male victims who feel confusion about their level of participation, about why they never stopped their abuse sooner or why their body responded favorably, often feel betrayed by their own bodies.

Eliciting confusion is part of the process for perpetrators. Since 90% of abuse is perpetrated by someone known the victim, it is not uncommon for victims to have liked their abuser prior to being abused, after-all during the grooming process, their abuser likely treated them VERY well. When their bodies respond favorably to their abuse, they often recall the loving feelings they felt prior to their abuse, and become confused. Understanding how and why males get erections during abuse is important part of a male victims recovery from abuse.

Although I am not a medical doctor, I did a little bit of homework and learned that not all  erections are associated to having loving thoughts and feelings.  Research conducted on patients with spinal cord injuries reveals that the penis, which is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, is capable of producing erections under several different sets of circumstances.  

Here is what I learned:

1st - Males can get an erection under situations of extreme duress.  Men in combat have attained erections when faced with life-threatening situations.

2nd - There 3 types of erections: The 1st psychogenic – are obtained through arousing thoughts and through stimulating any of the 5 senses. (The way most are familiar with.) The 2nd reflexogenic  - are produced solely through stimulating of the nerve endings. (This might explain those “uncomfortable moment’s in the doctor’s office at exam time.)  Erections occur in this way after neurotransmitters send the message to the brain to stop the restriction previously sustained, and quickly send blood which rushes to the area causing the penis to get erect. The 3rd is nocturnal – these occur during REM sleep or (math class).

So if you are a male who was sexually abused and you wonder why your body “betrayed you” know this… your body simply works the way God designed it to work. If your body responded to unwanted touch (or touch that occurred prior to having the capacity to consent) don’t struggle with the misconception that you wanted the abuse. Even if you liked your offender or the prior to the abuse happening, abuse is abuse. Even if being stimulated felt good.  Orgasms are meant to feel good. The truth is every child need (and deserves) love and attention. Love true love doesn’t come at the cost of being abused.

Follow me on Facebook: Men Too Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse or on Linkedin or

Twitter:@MenToo2020.

Reference:

Top Spinal Cord Inj Rehabil. 2017 Winter; 23(1): 1–10. doi: 10.1310/sci2301-1

Neural Control and Physiology of Sexual Function: Effect of Spinal Cord Injury

Andrei Krassioukov, MD, PhD, FRCPC1,2,4,5 and  Stacy Elliott, MD1-,3,5

 

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Dr. Kelli Palfy

Kelli Palfy

Dr. Kelli Palfy

Dr. Kelli Palfy
Other posts by Dr. Kelli Palfy

I medically retired from the RCMP with just over 13 years of field experience in 2009 (Reg #45004, HQ 1112) and began the journey of pursuing my doctorate degree. I am now a registered psychologist, running a private practice in Edmonton, AB. I have a strong interest in working with trauma related issues, specifically adult male survivors of sexual abuse.

I have a considerable amount of life experience and exposure, both personal and professional, which I drew upon to write my first book, Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse (an educational, heart-wrenching look at 13 male sexual abuse victims experiences).

Full biography

Full biography

I am a registered psychologist, running a private practice in Edmonton, AB. I offer counselling services to adults (individuals, couples and groups) struggling with issues associated to childhood abuse/neglect, life transitions, harassment in the workplace, chronic illness, anxiety and depression. I completed my doctoral internship at the Cross Cancer Institute where I worked with adults struggling with cancer diagnosis, grief, loss, issues of faith and other major life transitions. I have a strong interest in working with trauma related issues, specifically adult male survivors of sexual abuse; as well as issues associated to grief, loss and bullying and harassment in the workplace.

In 2007 I began pursuing my MA, initially to further my career as a police woman, but God had other plans for me! In 2009, I medically retired from the RCMP with just over 13 years of field experience (Reg #45004, HQ 1112) and began the journey of pursuing my doctorate degree. I have a considerable amount of life experience and exposure, both personal and professional, from which to draw upon during my work with you. What was once my misery is now my ministry. I have used this experience and training to write my first book, Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse in an effort to changing the way people think about male sexual abuse.

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Melissa Brown

Willful Blindness

Academic research discusses how neural networks in the human brain are hard-wired to reject information that will make us less certain and keep peace when faced with conflict.  But what if instincts about Child abuse are...

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