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Dr. Palfy shares her insights on male abuse, sexual abuse, PTSD and more.

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Dr. Kelli Palfy 3184

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4) Memory loss due to traumatization – Many victims dissociate during abuse.  In extreme abuse cases of dissociation, boys become so traumatized that their brain literally protects them from remembering the information that would be too hard for them to handle. They are physically blocked from recalling the memories of their abuse without any effort made to forget on their part.  Others do make an effort to forget and are sometimes successful, though often through the use of alcohol and drugs (this forgetting can be temporary; often when they become adults and are in safer environments, their memories come flooding back).

5) Too hard for them to discuss – Often the abuse they suffered was extremely traumatizing and confusing.  Since they can’t make sense of what happened to them, they avoid discussing it. Unfortunately avoidance as a coping mechanism…though useful in the moment has detrimental effects in the long run.  

6) Protecting others - Males often believe that the details of their abuse would be too hard for others to handle.  Even as boys, many males don’t discuss their abuse with loved ones simply because they do not want them to hurt too; they feel the details of their abuse would be too hard for them to handle, so they remain silent.  Males are instinctively protectors, even if it hurts them. 

Next week I will discuss: shame and guilt associated to involuntary arousal.

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Dr. Kelli Palfy

Kelli Palfy

Dr. Kelli Palfy

Dr. Kelli Palfy
Other posts by Dr. Kelli Palfy

I medically retired from the RCMP with just over 13 years of field experience in 2009 (Reg #45004, HQ 1112) and began the journey of pursuing my doctorate degree. I am now a registered psychologist, running a private practice in Edmonton, AB. I have a strong interest in working with trauma related issues, specifically adult male survivors of sexual abuse.

I have a considerable amount of life experience and exposure, both personal and professional, which I drew upon to write my first book, Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse (an educational, heart-wrenching look at 13 male sexual abuse victims experiences).

Full biography

Full biography

I am a registered psychologist, running a private practice in Edmonton, AB. I offer counselling services to adults (individuals, couples and groups) struggling with issues associated to childhood abuse/neglect, life transitions, harassment in the workplace, chronic illness, anxiety and depression. I completed my doctoral internship at the Cross Cancer Institute where I worked with adults struggling with cancer diagnosis, grief, loss, issues of faith and other major life transitions. I have a strong interest in working with trauma related issues, specifically adult male survivors of sexual abuse; as well as issues associated to grief, loss and bullying and harassment in the workplace.

In 2007 I began pursuing my MA, initially to further my career as a police woman, but God had other plans for me! In 2009, I medically retired from the RCMP with just over 13 years of field experience (Reg #45004, HQ 1112) and began the journey of pursuing my doctorate degree. I have a considerable amount of life experience and exposure, both personal and professional, from which to draw upon during my work with you. What was once my misery is now my ministry. I have used this experience and training to write my first book, Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse in an effort to changing the way people think about male sexual abuse.

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Melissa Brown

Willful Blindness

Academic research discusses how neural networks in the human brain are hard-wired to reject information that will make us less certain and keep peace when faced with conflict.  But what if instincts about Child abuse are...

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